


Our Song

by Oreoissenpai



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Aged-Up Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff and Smut, Heartache, M/M, Oblivious Gon, Past Relationship(s), Reunited and It Feels So Good, Smut, Strippers & Strip Clubs, jealous killua
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22811206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oreoissenpai/pseuds/Oreoissenpai
Summary: 𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚞𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚛. 𝙸𝚜 𝚑𝚎? 𝙽𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎. 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎'𝚜 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚙 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚍.𝙸 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚞𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚘. 𝙸 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚌𝚔 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛.𝙸 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚖.Everyone has a song and everyone has a soulmate.Songs are what attracts soulmates to each other.Songs are given to those at birth. Whatever your parents song was determines what your song will be.Now the way you find out the song being played is your song is in your eyes.They shine a brighter color than your original eye color.When the two meet at a dinner party one of parents their threw and their song plays.Light blue met light brown.
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 14
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

I don't have everything  
as a matter of fact I don't have anything  
except a dream of a better day  
and you 2 help me find my way  
Being a man I am 2 make mistakes  
but 2 keep u I would do all it takes  
and if it meant my love was really true  
I'd gladly die and watch over u  
I wish I knew how much I cared  
u'd see my love is true by the life we'd share  
Even if u changed your mind and did our love was thru  
I'd want 2 die continuously cry and still I'd love you- Tupac 

*Killua's POV*

Soulmates, just the topic makes my stomach twist and my head fall. Due to the fact that I don't really believe in soulmates or that I have one.

There are people that make their own way in finding soulmates. I saw one that said in the past we were once conjoined but we split apart to find our other half. I also read about some that has to do with eye color. Some even hair. 

It's a lot of ways people made up to find soulmates. But by song? That's the weirdest. And the one we live with.

It's difficult to find a soulmate. Due to the fact that there is billions of songs and someone could possibly have the same song and be with the wrong person. 

But I guess since that never happened, it must not be true. 

"Killua! You have a table" Blair says. Her long black hair and purple highlights making her hazel eyes pop with the sound of the music blasting through the loud speakers. 

I make my way over to the table and give my best fakest smile. "How may I help you today?" The table of three bring their attention to me. 

One licks his lips hungrily and I shiver in my shoes. I keep the forced smile though not to cause any problems. 

"I'll take a water at the moment" the man next to the man who licked his lips said with a husky tone. 

"I'll have the same" the red head says with a smile. 

"I'll have you" the fuck? He probably said it because of this stupid tight uniform. 

I fucking hate working at strip clubs. 

—0O0–

It was probably a year ago I started working here at the club. It pays fast. Even though I get followed home some nights or get my ass grabbed by some drunk idiot. 

Two guys were talking about how the club was hiring and I just got fired from my job due to "poor attitude" or whatever the fuck.

I called the manger and asked about the job. I got called in for an interview later on that day. 

When I arrived business was slow. Probably because it was still day time. 

He looked at me and told me to turn around. I turned and I felt eyes all over my back and ass. 

"Damn you got ass. You here to be a stripper?" I felt offended. 

I told him no. He asked if I wanted to be a waiter. I nodded my head. 

He asked me when I could start, I said whenever I'd be able to. 

He handed me my uniform and shooed me away and said I started today. 

I tried on the stupid uniform. The shorts squeezed my ass. 

The top was only a fishnet with the clubs label on it. The shoes gave me a little more height. I stepped out the changing room and he whistled at me. 

I walked over to the bar and sat down and waited for something to happen, just anything.

It got dark, then the drunks started to come in. The strippers began to walk around and do their sinning. 

Lap dances, pole dances, private dances, and waiters. Everyone is half naked. The smell sweat and the stares of lust made me wonder what exactly I got myself into. 

–0O0–

"I'm not on the menu sir. We have dancers for your pleasures and I am not a dancer," now I'm trying hard not to punch this asshole in the face.

"Hey man cut it out" the red head says. 

"I'll pay you extra" he says voice full of lust. 

"I'd hope so if I have to stand here and deal with your bullshit all damn day. Is that all I can help you with today? I'd like to give the men at your table their beverages," I bring my fake smile back.

"Killua! How dare you speak to our customers like that!" My boss's wife says. 

"He asked for a dance and that's something I don't get paid to do and that's something I'm not gonna do" I say crossing my arms and glaring at the older woman. 

"He said he'll pay extra. You know your tips go to us so if you give him a dance we'll get paid extra" she says in a snobby tone.

"I don't give a fuck. I'm going on break. Duces" I hold up two fingers and walk out. 

'Should've grabbed my jacket' I think to myself as lean on the brick wall outside the club. 

The music in the club could still be heard outside.

"Hey, I saw what happened in there. You ok?" A guy asked. Who you may ask? I do not fucking know. But he's hot. 

"Uh yeah I'm fine. Just irritated" 

"You cold?" He can probably see me shivering. 

"Yeah but I'm fine" He takes off his hoodie to reveal a plan white t-shirt. 

"Here" he says as he puts the hoodie on me. I stick my arms through the sleeves and thank him. 

This is way bigger than me but it's comfortable. 

"So what's a guy like you working at a place like this?" He asks with a small smile. 

"What's a guy like you coming to place like this?" I ask in the same tone he asked. 

"Got dragged here, so what's your reason" 

"I got fired about a year ago from my last job, I heard about this place. Came here, got hired" 

"Oh. Well I should get going I have an event to get to" he left as fast as he came. I wanted to catch his name but he left. 

I look down at my watch it's 9 after. Fuck the party! 

I ran back in and to clock out. 

"Sorry but gotta go!" I yell to Blair as I'm running out the club and call the nearest cab. 

"Where to?" 

"The Zoldyck Estate" I like having rich parents. All you gotta do is say the last name and people immediately know where to go. 

To bad I'm broke as fuck. 

—— 

He pulls up to the overly large mansion and I pay him. I rush out the cab and run into the house. 

"Sorry I'm late!" I say as my family turns their heads to me. I can feel the heat from the back of my neck crawl up to my cheeks at the attention. 

"What are you wearing?" Shit. I forgot to change. 

"Um shorts and a hoodie?" I look over at my sister for help to see her silently laughing. 

"C'mon on big brother. Let's get you changed" she grabs my hand and drags me up the steps. 

"Did anyone come yet?" I ask as she goes through my wardrobe. 

"Nope. But all of Daddy's clients will be here. So you have to look nice. They almost found out about your job. And who's hoodie is that? It's cute on you" 

I never did give back his hoodie. 

"Some guy I met outside the club" 

"Is it him?" Every time I bring someone up that she doesn't know she immediately thinks it's my "soulmate".

"I don't know" she throws a white suit at me and black dress shoes. 

"Hurry up" she says as she rushes out the room. 

I take a quick shower and put the suit on, to hear the music of the party playing. The guest must be here now. 

I walk down the steps as the song Young and Beautiful by Somo plays. 

Everyone is either dancing in the center or standing off to the side eating finger foods.

I look around and see these beautiful light brown eyes staring at me. 

It's the guy from earlier. Is he? No can't be. I look around and no one else's eyes is lighting up from the song being played. 

I turn away and run to the bathroom and my eyes are glowing too. I hear someone knock on the door. 

I open it and it's him.


	2. Chapter 2

What of a love unspoken? Is it weaker without a name?  
Does this love deserve 2 exist without a title  
because I dare not share its name  
Does that make me cruel and cold  
2 deny the world of my salvation  
because I chose 2 let it grow  
People tend 2 choke  
that which they do not understand  
Why shouldn't I be weary  
and withhold this love from MAN  
What of a love unspoken  
no one ever knows  
But this is a love that lasts  
and in secrecy it grows  
-Tupac

I open it and it's him.

"Uhhhh, is there something you want?" I ask with a dark blush. 

"No, just can't believe I found you" cringe-worthy.

"Cheesy but I'll ignore it" I can't stand here a blushing mess. I have to stand my ground. 

"I have to be out there or my parents will think I'm skipping out" this wasn't what I meant by standing my ground but skipping out doesn't sound half bad at the moment. 

"They'll notice your eyes are glowing and try to find your soulmate" he already seems like an ass. 

"I know that captain obvious. Look I'll do whatever you want just let me out this fucking bathroom" 

"Your name" 

"C'mon, you can know anything about me and do anything to me and you want my name? I guess I should consider myself lucky" 

"Yeah you know, I'll be lucky when I get your name" he smirks at his own comment. 

He's hot and I'm blushing. Well I guess we're both hot. Right? 

"It's Killua. Now let me out!" I want to push right past him but looking at the size differences, oh boy I stand. I chance. 

"You don't want my name?" 

"Nope I just want out. That was the agreement wasn't it?" 

"Yeah guess so, but I'd expect you to at least want to get to know me or something" disappointment feels his voice. 

"Sorry? Whatever, what's your name?"His eyes lighting up at the question. It's cute how much he's into this soulmate shit. 

"It's Gon" instead of the disappointment his voice now cheerful. 

He moved out the way as I walked out of the bathroom. 

"So Killua, your a Zoldyck right?" I sigh at the question. Is it that obvious?

"Yeah Sherlock" he chuckles softly. 

"Do you not want a soulmate or something?" I stopped walking. Do I want a soulmate? 

–0O0–

When I was maybe fifteen, sixteen at the most. My parents began bugging me about finding my soulmate and to be like them and what not. 

Since they found each other at around sixteen. They hoped the same for me too. 

They tried finding the soulmates for all my siblings but the only one of the five found their soulmate and that was Illumi. 

He dates the creepy clown bastard that used to stand by my high school and talk to high schoolers.

They met when Illumi was picking me up from school. 

Why? Do not fucking know. But eh he's happy I guess. If you ask me, I think he's being cheated on. 

Ever since they started trying to find my "soulmate" I eventually got tired of hearing the word. It became so annoying after a while. 

When I was about eighteen I just stopped caring. My parents gave up on the fact but my grandparents still it bring up every time I see them. 

It's so annoying but when almost everyone in my family found their soulmates they started pushing me again to find the one. 

I moved out and went to college. I couldn't complete college though due to money. 

So I had to drop out and get a job. 

Everyone there wouldn't shut up about the fact that they found the one and how their song is the "best" and how they'll never get tired of each other. 

Half of them there was getting cheated on anyways. 

–0O0–

Do I want a soulmate? The question is still left unanswered. 

"C'mon answer the question" is he going to bug me about it? Guess so. 

"I don't know if I want one or not. I just know that I'm tired of everyone talking about it and how amazing it was when they found their soulmate" I cross my arms and blow some of the hair out of my face. 

"And why is that?" 

"You sure are nosy" 

"Well as your soulmate I feel obligated to know more about you and what goes through that head of yours" 

"Thanks but I like to keep my thoughts private"I roll my eyes at him. 

When the hell does this damn song go off? 

He looks disappointed again. Great why can't he just be happy and shut up? 

"Alright come on" I walk over to a little table and sit down. He looks at me unexpectedly. "You want to talk right? Let's talk" he comes over and sits across from me. 

"So what do you want in a soulmate?" I say soulmate in a playful manner hopefully pissing him off. 

"I just want someone to love me you know?" 

"No I don't know" the disappointment comes back to his face. "But! You can tell me if it's that serious" I slouch in my chair ready to hear some lame reason. 

"Well what I want in a soulmate really is like I said. Someone to love me for me and never stop. Someone that love me for all my flaws and quirks. 

Someone that loves me for what's on the inside and not on the outside. Not for my looks or money. But for me. Is it to much to ask for in a person?" 

"Well yeah if that person is only for your money. I do see what you mean though. People at the club are only their for the girls looks and dances" 

"You can't forget the guy there earlier" 

"Oh him? I should've punched him. Drunk bastard" I mumble the last part but it made him laugh. 

His laugh is cute. What the hell am I saying? The truth is what I'm saying but why? 

"So what do you do?" I ask with pure curiosity. 

"I'm in construction" 

"So you just build shit in the sun and get all sweaty?" 

"Pretty much" ahhh. I'll let my imagination do the rest. I'm nasty and I love it. Fight me. 

"So, has it every gotten to the point where you had to take your—" "Big brother! There you are" thanks a lot Alluka. I was trying to get valuable information. 

"Here I am"

"C'mon Daddy's clients want to meet you!" She grabs me by my arm and pulls me away. 

'I wanted to hear more about him being sweaty' I begin pouting as I'm being dragged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is the second chapter so far?
> 
> Anywho! I hope your enjoying the story and the poem.   
> Chapter Finished: 12-29-2019  
> Chapter Published: 1-9-2020  
> Word Count:1189  
> Later Loves


	3. Chapter 3

All of my life I dreamed of meeting one with immense beauty, and once I found her I would charm her and she'd be mine forever I have found her and indeed she is all I wished for and more but she is not charmed nor intrigued. Then I think 2 myself "What can I offer her?" The tears warm my eyes and blur my vision. I stick 2 my stance of bravado and give her the same uninterested look she gave me. She was so beautiful But what can I offer her -Tupac 

*Gon's POV*

I sat there staring until his figure left. The thing that pulled me towards him was his eyes. 

The way they lit up as the song began to play. The story they play with just a glance, a story that's kept hidden. 

Blue pools I could get lost in. I'm getting over myself. He doesn't even want a soulmate. 

Let alone to love someone. Maybe I could change his mind? I doubt it. 

"I'm back, sorry for that my sister is a little... never mind can't call her that. Anyways what's wrong big guy? You look upset" there they are. 

A beautiful blue. A great resemblance of the ocean. 

I could stare into forever. 

"What? Is there something on my face?" He begins to wipe his mouth with a napkin until I move his hands away from his face. 

"It's nothing just your beautiful that's all" a dark blush painting his pale cheeks and the tips of his ears. 

"Embarrassing" he covers his face and turns away, making me laugh a little. 

It'll be fun teasing him. 

"Anyways, why the hell do you want a soulmate in the first fucking place?" He sure does cuss like a sailor but I can't change it. 

Why do I want a soulmate?  
—0O0–

When I was younger 12 at the most, my Aunt told me a story of my dad. 

Since they were the only thing I knew of my dad. He left the island for some time. 

And by some time I mean years. He was gone supposedly traveling and found his soulmate. 

When he came back to Whale Island he had me with him. Told my aunt he had a kid and needed her to take care of me. 

My guess is he didn't want to have a kid around. 

She asked about my mom, he told her they separated after I was born and he had custody over me. 

Mito was mad, grandma said, she was yelling and for the the first time she cussed. 

Very colorful language in front of a baby. But since then it's been Aunt Mito, grandma, and me. 

Aunt Mito never found her soulmate. She was stuck taking care of me. I felt bad about that. 

She never had anyone relationship wise. I used to think it was my fault. But she always told me I was the best thing to ever happen to her. 

One day we talked about it. She told me if I felt that bad about it then go off and find my soulmate so I don't end up like her. 

I refused until maybe a year later. I was fifteen, I left the island and met my dad. 

I didn't know it was him until we actually talked. He hired me at his business and I began working there. 

I still looked for my soulmate, I promised Mito I'd find them, whoever it was. 

—0O0—  
"I promised my aunt I'd find my soulmate since she never found hers" 

"Isn't that... sweet. Anyways, is your parents my dads clients or are his client?" 

"I'm his client" he nods. His big blue eyes filling curiosity again for the night. 

I laugh a little and he looks at me with a concerned stare. 

"I'm fine. Just thought of something" 

"Oh?"

"How your are like my asthma. You just take my breath away" that made him laugh. It was music to my ears

"Oh shit, your a fucking idiot. Where'd you pull that from your ass?" 

"Maybe, maybe not. Who knows?" 

"Gross" I laugh at his disgusted face. He looks up at me and I smile at him. 

I can't believe I actually found my soulmate. 

"Wanna dance?" I'm a little surprised he asked to dance. He doesn't seem like the type to dance. 

Even though he works at a strip club. Well he's not a stripper. 

"Sure" he takes my hand as we walk over to the dance floor. 

He flicked someone off. Maybe his brother. 

We go to the center of the floor as the song Like I'm Gonna Lose You, by Meghan Trainor comes on. 

"Do you know how to dance?" He ask with a smirk. 

"I danced with my aunt, when I was ten" he sighs. 

"Let me lead then" I wanna lead. 

"But I wanna lead" 

"If you step on my foot I'm smacking you. Don't fight me on this. Let me lead and shut up" I close my mouth before I could protest. 

Damn he's bossy. 

We began dancing along with the music. I was starting to get the hold of things to the point where I think I got it. 

"Now can I lead?" He sighs deeply. 

"Fine, but my warning still stands" I take the lead as we both get lost into the song. 

I woke up in tears  
With you by my side  
A breath of relief  
And I realized  
No, we're not promised tomorrow

So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
And I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye  
Wherever we're standing  
I won't take you for granted  
'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time

So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you

He rests his head on my shoulder as we sway back in forth to the music. 

At least I know how to slow dance now. 

The song came to an end sadly but he didn't pull away. He just looked up at me. Unexplainable emotions filling his eyes as the dime lights of the party make them shine ever so lightly. 

The sight that'd throw me into a whirlpool if I'm not careful. 

I stare back into those deep blue eyes and smile. His face begins to show a light pink but he doesn't look away. 

People are probably staring but at the moment it's just us. 

Everyone else began to fade around us as this unimaginable feeling comes into me. 

He smiles softly and puts his head back down on my chest as I run my fingers through his soft white hair. 

A single word could ruin this moment. Breathing to hard could mess up this delicacy of a dance. 

Me never wanting to let go, I wrap both my arms around his waist as he puts his arms around my neck, so we're staring into each other's eyes. 

I smile softly at him. Him looking up into my eyes is something I could get used to if he let me. 

Something I won't forget. 

The atmosphere changes back to how it was before, as I think the party's over. But he doesn't pull away. Just lays his head back down again and sighs softly. 

I giggle at his action. I look around and realize that the place is cleared out. 

"Everyone left. Do you want to continue or-" "can we stay like this a little longer?" 

"Sure, whatever makes you happy" 

"Thank you" 

"Ahem. Mr. Freecss, the party is now over" Killua perks his head up at the voice. 

"But-" "no buts Master Killua. The party is over" master? The hell. 

"Ugh I'm glad I moved out. Alright fine" he pulled away slowly as I tried not to pull back. 

"Look we're done dancing now, so you can excuse yourself Gotoh" he shooed the butler away and sat back down at the table we were sitting at before. 

"You moved out?" He turns to me and looks away. 

"Yeah. Became to much. Mom got controlling dad stopped caring. I only visited here for my younger siblings" 

"Oh, they seem nice" he looks at me again. 

"Who? My parents or siblings?" 

"Parents" he scoffs loudly. 

"As hell. They 'seem' nice so you can stick around and do what they want. Ha nice joke don't make me laugh" he started laughing. 

"Their not that bad" He stops laughing as he wipes a non-visible tear from those cerulean blue eyes. 

"Live with them your whole life and you won't be saying that. You know how many songs I heard to try and find my song. After that they wanted to find my soulmate. It got so annoying so I hurried up so I could I finish high school, then went to college" 

"Oh what did you major in?" 

"Dance, I want a business degree to open my own studio. But I had to drop out of college due to money. I got a job at the shoe store, got fired, then got hired at the club" He rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. 

"It's funny how you have to pay a lot of money just to have a great future. How if you can't pay them I can't continue learning. So when I get my studio, people that can't pay will get free entry.  
I'll help them financially so they can have a stable life. No deserves to not do what makes them happy because they can't pay" 

"Damn, I support it" He smiles at me, eyes getting small because of the smile. 

"Thanks" 

"No problem" he starts to talk about something but it's I'm to busy looking at the eyes. 

They really do resemble an ocean. The prettiest ocean I've ever seen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter I've ever written if I gotta be honest. But I think it's cutest one I've ever written too! 
> 
> Anywho...how's the story so far?  
> Hope your enjoying the story.  
> Chapter Finished:12-29-2019  
> Word Count:1686  
> Later Loves


	4. Chapter 4

Sometimes when I'm alone  
I cry because I'm on my own  
The tears I cry R bitter and warm  
They flow with life but take no form  
I cry because my heart is torn  
and I find it difficult 2 carry on  
If I had an ear 2 confide in  
I would cry among my treasured friends  
But who do u know that stops that long  
To help another carry on  
The world moves fast and it would rather pass u by  
than 2 stop and c what makes u cry  
It's painful and sad and sometimes I cry  
and no one cares about why  
-Tupac 

"No problem" he starts to talk about something but it's I'm to busy looking at the eyes. 

They really do resembles an ocean. The prettiest ocean I've ever seen.

*Killua's POV*

"I should probably get going though, it's getting late" awl but the fun isn't over yet. 

"I guess your right about that, beside I have work in the morning" when can I quit?

"Wanna let me out?" 

"Sure why not" we both stand up and head to the doors of the mansion. 

"Later Killua" he waves as he begins jogging down the steps. 

I wave at his fading figure and I watch him drive away. 'Nice car' I think to myself almost admiring the car. 

I walk upstairs to my room, it's to late to go home especially without a car. 

When I open my room door I'm greeted with Alluka and Kalluto sleeping on the left side of the bed. 

I smile at them both. "Were they waiting for me?" I say to myself. 

"Big brother?" Alluka gets up slowly while rubbing her eyes. 

"Were you guys waiting for me? Or did you miss me that much you need to sleep in my bed?" 

"Maybe both" Kalluto says quietly. 

"Why were y'all waiting for me?" 

"The guy you were with, is he?" Alluka's eyes began to feel with hope that her lovely—if I do say so myself— big brother finally found his soulmate. 

"Yep that was him. Sorry you didn't get an introduction" She start squealing, scaring me and Kalluto shitless. 

"So what's his name?!" She asks as she grabs onto my suit. Should I tell her anything? I feel like being an ass. 

"Not saying a word" "pleeeeeaaaassseeeee?"  
"No"  
"Pretty please?"  
"Nopers"  
"With a cherry on top?" Gross cherries.  
"Hell nah"  
"Oh my goodness just spill the tea brother" I give up. It's getting pretty annoying seeing her beg. 

"Gon Freecss, and that's all I'm sayin'" I cross my arms. 

"But-" "but nothing. So are you staying in here or leaving?" 

"Staying" 

"Good now hush the lips on your pretty little face kay?" She mumbles something that sound like asshole. I just laughed at her as I changed to some shorts and an undershirt. 

"Goodnight big brother" they say in unison 

"Goodnight kids"  
Minutes later both of their breathing is evened out. Light snoring from their side of the bed.

I roll on my back and stare at the ceiling. I was a weird kid. Glow in the dark stars are still up there. 

I found my soulmate. What the hell should I do now? 

—0O0–

I was taught whenever I found my soulmate to get in a relationship with them, to just act like we've been dating for years and we'll eventually get used to each other.

But that's straight bullshit. Why the hell should I act like I'm in love with the person I just met?

I mean yeah at least to get to know the person yeah of fucking course but why should I act like I've known them my whole life and they every thing about me?

I guess it should feel like I've known them my whole life but still it's pretty weird. 

My family is still upset about me dropping out of college. I didn't tell them my money problems because I'm —in a Alluka's words— independent. 

When I'm not it's just if I need something I'm gonna get it on my own. Anyways when they found out I had to tell them I want to find my soulmate. 

They believed I was making the right choice. So a relationship with a person is more important than a career and going to school? Weird.

—0O0– 

"Can't sleep?" Kalluto ask from the other side of Alluka. 

"Nope, seems like you can't either" well at least someone is getting sleep. 

"It's to hot in here" I get up and walk to the windowsill. I sit down, look at the stars, and smile. 

"I miss this view," 

"You don't have that at your apartment" 

"Hell no, just a noisy city and bright lights. But hey that's home" I smiled softly. 

I do miss just staring at the stars, making stuff out of them. Naming them. 

The sight is beautiful. 

"Big brother?" I hum. "What are you gonna do now?" What am I going to do now?

"I'm gonna save up,go back to school, graduate, then go to business school. I'm gonna run my own dance studio" 

"Oh, what about Gon?" What about him? 

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't mention him when you told me what you were gonna do next" I didn't huh? 

I bring my attention back to the stars, the moon looks bigger tonight. 

Super moon? Full moon? Whatever the hell it is it's beautiful. 

I've never really paid attention to the moon. Just the stars. The way the shined ever so brightly. Made me smile and forget my problems but the moon. 

Another story. I feel so alone when I look at the moon. 

Just alone in this dark void full of stars,planets, and everything else you find in space. 

And there's me, alone in this society full of people,animals, and everything else on this planet that is slowly being destroyed. 

The moon makes me realize how far away things are. If I were to think about Gon I'd realize just how far away he is. 

I can't talk to him now. Maybe through another way of communication. But would he hear me. If he did would he listen? 

I don't want to think of the worst so I try not to think at all. If I keep thinking like this I'll think of everything else fucked up in my life and on this world. 

"Big brother,"

"Yo" I don't take my eyes away from the starry night sky. I wonder how life would be like in space. Beautiful sights of new born stars maybe? Or a super nova exploding. What I payed attention in science class. 

How life would be like in my own little world. Conversations with the moon in hope to get answers. Finding out where and where not I belong. 

The rights and wrongs of life. Making my own choices without effecting others. Just me and the ones I need. 

It could barely be heard when Kalluto said goodnight. I don't know when he said but I recall him saying it not to long ago. 

As my eyes waver down to the city below the vast ocean of stars. Lights, and car horns could be heard and seen in the distance. 

Maybe, just maybe I'll get an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways, I hope your enjoying this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it and who can figure out the answer Killua is talking about?
> 
> Word Count: 1276  
> Later Loves


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

against an attacker I will boldly take my stand  
because my heart will show fear 4 no man  
but 4 a broken heart I run with fright  
scared 2 be blind in a vulnerable night  
I believe this fear is in every man  
some will acknowledge it others will fail 2 understand  
there is no fear in a shallow heart  
because shallow hearts don't fall apart  
but feeling hearts that truly care  
are fragile 2 the flow of air  
and if I am 2 be true then I must give  
my fragile heart  
I may receive great joy or u may return it  
ripped apart-Tupac

"Big brother?" I slowly come into conscious as I pull the cover over my body more. 

"Shush, I'm sleeping" I turn over and hit the hard ground. Falling with an 'bitch!' And other colorful language that I shall not expose myself for saying. 

"That's what you get for shushing me" Alluka says standing over me. 

"What time is it?" 

"12 o'clock" oh ok not bad. Wait what!

"I gotta go! My shift starts soon and I do not have a car" I grab my clothes from yesterday and put them on. I grab m- Gon's hoodie put on and run out the room. 

"Later kids!" I shout as I ran out the door.

I run down to the main road just enough time to catch the a cab. I sigh once I get into the cab. 

"Where to?" I told him the address of my apartment and asked in the nicest way as possible to hurry the hell up. 

He arrived to my home in about 15 minutes at the most. I paid him and ran inside. 

The clock was twenty after twelve which meant I had an hour to get ready for work. Great that's just fucking peachy. 

I grab my clothes to get ready my morning routine even though it's after twelve. 

——

I got out the shower like... ten minutes later, I brush my teeth, wash my face, and change into some regular clothes 

Unlike like one of those skimpy outfits the women wear at the club.

"Hell, here I come" I grab my jacket this time, I put my uniform into a duffel bag, and walk out the door. I'm glad the walk to work is only ten minutes. 

Once I walk in business is still slow. As usual in the day time. 

"Killua! Come here!" Blair practically yells across the building. 

I walk over there and sit down at the bar. 

"Get me some whiskey" she pours the drink in my cup and looks at me with concerned eyes. 

"What's wrong babe?" Oh yeah she calls me babe, no we are not dating definitely not. 

Yeah she's pretty but she has so many boyfriends and girlfriends it is not funny. But she's cool, hell the only reason why the hell this place is bearable. 

"Nothin' just tired" 

"How was the party" ahh the party. I can tell her so much about the party. But I'm not I'll just give her the short story. Leaving out Gon, the dancing, the dancing after the music stopped. 

"Well I got there late, they almost caught me in my work clothes, I changed, I sat, I danced, I slept, and I left. There you go! Story told" I smile at her innocently so she won't suspect anything. 

But she just had to run her mouth more. 

"Your mouth says a story but you eyes tell tale. You found them haven't you?" The fuck? 

"W-what makes y-you think that?" 

"Did you?" 

"Finnnee, yes I did find 'him' and we danced" her eyes lit up and she started jumping around like a fucking idiot. 

"Omg! What's his name? When will I meet him?" Shut the fuck up! Is what I wish I could say to her ass. 

"Name Gon, when will you meet him: if he ever comes here I'll introduce you I guess"

"Is he hot?" 

"Yeah" I ignore the blush coming onto my cheeks and the tips of my ears. 

Why do I blush so easily? 

"Killua, your shift started an hour ago" my boss said, Jackson, if you will. 

"And? Nobody is even in here. What's the point in changing into that stupid uniform just to sit around and do nothing?"

"Just change and busy yourself!"

"Alright old man no need to yell" I get up as I roll my eyes. I head to the back room and change my clothes. I put my other clothes and bag into a closet. 

—— 

It's been like four hours of just sitting until little groups of people began to arrive. 

Dancers started coming out the back rooms and started dancing. Soon later my shift was over. 

I began walking home like I normally would any other work day. 

I had both my earbuds in, hands in my pocket, hood down. Aye nobody messes with you when you look you don't give two fucks given. 

Well for me at least. 

*Bang!* 

"Wha-what happened?"I ask sitting up in the bed? What the hell wasn't I walking home? 

"Well I found you knocked out in an ally" I look over at the voice, it's Gon. 

"My head hurts" he sits at the in of the bed. 

"Well you got hit in the back of the head" 

"Where am I?" 

"Your full of questions, your at my house" I look around more, I didn't notice before. 

I looked down at myself. Am I wearing his clothes.

At least I can kinda fit his sweatpants, the shirt is to big.

"What the hell happened? What happened?" He sighed like he was in a desperate way not to tell me. 

"Look I deserve to know what happened to me"I cross my arms and look up at him. 

"Yeah yeah, well I don't know what happened but I saw some old guy over top of you about to rape you and you were knocked out. So I did my doings and brought you here" oh, I... would've never guessed that I'd almost get raped. 

"Thank you, for you know, saving me" He perks his head up at me and smiles. 

"Well at least he didn't touch you. How do you feel?" 

"Ok now"

"What do you mean by now?" 

"Idiot. I'm happy that I'm here and not home. It gets lonely there" I lay back down into his bed. Feeling a new weight being added onto the other side of me. 

I turn around and face him. 

"You big dope, what the hell are you doing?" 

"It's my bed. Plus I deserve a reward. I am your savior, don't I at least deserve a kiss?" My cheeks heat up at the comment, I cover my hands with my face and groan. 

"Hey, don't ever cover that beautiful face of yours" ahh shut up damnit! 

"Why does it matter to you?" 

"I want to see my soulmates face" cheesy asshole. 

I remove my hands away from my face and let out a huff. 

"I'm going to sleep" I turn over putting my back towards him. 

"Okay I'll go sleep on the couch. Get some rest"he gets up with a pillow and heads towards the door. 

"Wait! Don't go, I don't want you to leave" He smirks softly at me. 

"So you want me to sleep in here with you?" 

"No I just don't want you to have nightmares. After what just happened you should be scared" He looks at me concerned then understood what I was 'doing'. 

He began to change his clothes with out a warning for me to cover my eyes so I throw one of his pillows at him. 

"Asshole! I want you to sleep in here not strip in front of me! If I wanted to see striping I'd just stare at the bitches at my job damnit!" I cover my face and turn over on my stomach. 

I can feel him laying next to me. I turn over and face him, I place a kiss on his cheek and turn back away. 

"Was that my reward?" I could hear the smile in his voice. 

"Shut up and be happy you got something" I huff out. I can hear a light chuckle behind me as I feel arms wrap around me. 

I lean into the feeling, as my body went into a deep sleep. 

"Goodnight Killua" I hear right before I do go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well how was the chapter? You'll get the whole story of what happened in the next chapter. 
> 
> Couldn't really type this up to my liking but I really have a good feeling about this story so yeah! 
> 
> I hope your enjoying the story so far and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> Word Count: 1478


	6. Chapter 6

Your ways R similar 2 the rays of the sun  
Warm 2 many but 2 strong 4 some  
The more u R needed the brighter u shine  
Watched 4 2 long and your brilliance will blind  
The eyes of mortal men who threaten u with Doom  
They regret 2 c u set but it is time 4 the moon  
-Tupac

*3rd Person*

"Come on kid, you don't even look heavy and yet your body won't move at all" the man complains to himself for absolutely no reason. 

He continues to drag the young adult into the alleyway. Still complaining of how he was treated the same night at the club. 

"You refused a night with me? I'm gonna make you regret that decision. After you wake up with my dick inside you you'll love what I can do" The adult underneath him began to wake up slightly. 

His eyes cracked open as he looked down at himself and around him. His first thought was what he normally would think. 

'The fuck?' Then he got the shooting pain in his head making him drop his head back down onto the hard ground. Making him go back to sleep. 

He caught a glimpses of the guy. Enough to know if he's a customer. 

"Damn condom!" He yells at the popping condoms he had in his pocket. So he decided to just not use it as he pulled his pants and underwear, and ripped the 23 year old shorts. 

He positioned himself just how he wanted. He was trying to push himself in slow. So he could remember the moment. 

"What the fuck is going on here?!" 

*Killua's POV*

I jump up from the bed panting. I look over at the clock on the side table and it read 5 in the morning. 

I turn over to see if he's still asleep or not. Which he is. I lay back down to think back at the dream I just had. 

Is that what actually happened? I'll just ask him when he wakes up. It's Saturday so he's probably sleeping. Hell I hope not because now I can't go to sleep. 

I nudge him slightly, to get shushed with his fucking finger. 

"I wasn't even talking jackass" 

"Shh" fuck you Gon. 

"Where's your tv remote?" 

"Hmm?" He opens up one eye as the other is forced shut by the pillow. He gets slowly. His hair on one side from sleeping. 

I couldn't help but to giggle at him, he looked super goofy. 

"The tv remote? It's in the living room, with the tv" ohhhhh. Makes since on why there isn't a tv in here. I get up and go to the door. 

"Okay, go back to sleep" he glares at me as I run out the room giggling like an idiot. 

"You woke me up for a remote?" He says loud enough for me to here from his room. 

"Yeah, go back to sleep. Damn it's more quieter that way and I can hear the tv if you shut the hell up!" I mumble the first part and yelled the last. 

I didn't even notice when he came out the room. He wasn't wearing anything but underwear and mean glare. 

"So your a morning person I see" I say with a smile. 

He snatched the remote from my hand causing me to yell at him and for him to throw me over his shoulder and walk back to his room. 

"You fucking—bitch!" He threw me on the bed and lied back down like nothing happened. 

"Go to sleep. It's too early to be awake"

"Well I had a dream and I don't want to go back to sleep and continue it!" 

"Stop yelling" should I really stop? 

"Lalala!-" he puts his hand over my mouth, the glare never leaving that tan face.

"Fine you win" it comes out muffled but he heard it. He moves his hand and rolls over. 

"But I had a bad dream and I can't go to sleep so stay up with me. Please?" He groans and turns back over. 

A little bit of life looked like it went into the honey brown eyes. I couldn't help but smile that he's gonna stay up with me. 

"Fine let's talk" he says without the joy he had in his voice when we first met.

"What did you do after you found me?"

"I called the cops of course. They arrested the guy" I guess I'm satisfied with that answer. 

"So you didn't, I don't know kick his ass? Just got him arrested?" 

"Don't worry your pretty little head about what I did last night to your perpetrator" 

I turn over. He puts his hand on my forearm in a comforting manner. 

"If I didn't get to do it I rather someone else do it" 

"Can I ask the questions now?" 

"Knock yourself out" 

"Can I take you out? Like on a date?" A date? I haven't been on a date in I don't know how long. 

"Uh" 

"I'll ask again. Can I take you out on a date?" 

"I don't know" I really don't know. My last date was a mess and the bastard found his soulmate there on our date!

—0O0–

We were in high school. Only like 50 percent of the students found their soulmate at the time. 

It was in my algebra class when he came up and asked. I said yeah because he was pretty cute. 

Plus... rumor went around he was packing so I decided why the hell not. Go on a date with him. 

And maybe give or get a blowjob. I don't know my mind set is total different from now. 

Ok not really different but different. 

He picked me up a day later and we went to the new restaurant, very expensive place. 

It was a great first date. Other than me embarrassing myself, and him embarrassing me even more. By bumping the table and spilling my dinner in my lap to talk to his now wife, Jessica. 

Dumb blonde bimbo bitch. Anyways, he left with her and left me with the check and a lap full of spaghetti. 

So day later I see him with her. Oh and he seen me with a to go box. Full of lap spaghetti. 

I shoved that box so far into his face, he had noodles in his nostrils. 

Ahh high school. 

—0O0–

"I don't know about a date, I'm not the right person for that" He looked disappointed once again for like the third fucking time since I met him. 

"Come on fix your face. Going on a date with me isn't that good to frown once gotten rejected" I mumbled.

"Well, it is if it's with my soulmate"

"Cut the shit Gon. If you didn't know we were soulmates you'd want nothing to do to me. I'd be another face in the crowd"

"Is it a problem that I want to go on a date with you?" 

"Yes, you can do way better trust me. I mean, I- why? You can do so much better, you deserve someone better. I'm barely living with the job I have now. I work at a strip club for crying out loud! My apartment is fucked up. You can do so much better than me! I might even get fired for insubordination. I don't have a stable job nor a stable home" he looks at me with an unexplainable look. 

I bring my knees up to my chest and hug my legs, i lay my head down. 

"Killua" He reaches out for my hand but I move over. 

"Look Gon, all I'm saying is that you can do better and deserve better. You can do way better than me. Someone who is physically and emotionally stable alright?" I get up and walk to the bathroom. 

The hell. Why am I getting upset about this. I ran my mouth to much. I should've never told him. 

"Killua? Please come out. I'm sorry" 

"I'm fine, it's fine just can you take me home?" I wipe my eyes before I could let a tear fall. 

I open the door and he's standing there, eyes full of pity and sympathy.

I push past him. 

"I don't need your pity Gon. I'll find another way" fuck where's my clothes at Damnit. 

"Where the hell are my clothes?" 

"Ripped remember? You not walking home. I'm driving you" ughhhh. 

"Fine" it's about 6:30 a.m now. Time flys. 

We go to his car and sit in silence. 

"So-"

"If your asking about the date as I said no. Look I don't want to waste ya time ok. I don't want to play with your either. As I said I'm not good enough for you. I don't want you to mess up your life messing with me. I mean I'll always be around when you need someone to talk to and what not but I can't do a relationship. I'm sorry" 

He sighs deeply but keeps his mouth shut. 

I'm sorry Gon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter! Hope you enjoy this one, and will try to be more active it’s just school has been a pain. 
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading and thank you for the kudos


	7. Chapter 7

I know not what I search 4  
But I know I have yet 2 find it,  
Because it is invisible 2 the eye  
My heart must search 4 it blinded.

And if by chance I find it,  
Will I know my mission is achieved?  
Can one come 2 conclusions,  
Before the question is conceived?

Just as no one knows  
what lies beyond the shore,  
I will never find the answer 2  
what it is that I search 4   
-Tupac

The car ride home was silent and awkward. Many conversations were started but ended with a dry response. 

He sighs loudly and very annoyingly. I ignored the first one he did. Then he did it again and again. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

He chuckles lightly. 

"Well we've been driving around and you haven't told me where to stop at" oh yeah. 

"The apartments by the club" he nods and starts around drive in the direction. 

I lean into the seat and look over at him. 

I didn't mean to hurt you Gon. It's just I can't hurt you. Not in a relationship.

"I'm Sorry Gon" 

"For what?" He pulls into the parking lot and turns his body so it's facing me. 

"Rejecting you, not trying, yelling, everything I did to make you feel upset" he smiles soothingly at me. Making my cheeks burn with a light pink. 

"Would you like to come in? It's not much but it's better than nothing" he nods his head as we both climb out the vehicle.

I lead the way to my crappy apartment, as I pull out my house key and unlock the door, I open it for the both of us as he clearly has no problem just stepping in peoples houses and plopping on their couch. 

"Help yourself" I roll my eyes at him. I watch him as he looks around the apartment. 

"I told you it's not much of anything so don't expect to be amazed or anything" 

"I remember what you told me, just thinking though. If you work at a club or strip club—if you will— shouldn't you make more money?" That's a little personal but ok. 

"I'm supposed to make $10 and some change an hour, but since "I don't do my job correctly" I get paid less" I make quotations with my fingers and mock my bosses voice. 

"Oh, I could find you a better job-"

"No need, I'm about to quit soon. I've saved up enough" 

"What are you gonna do about rent?" 

"Parents house" he nods understandingly.

Should I just go on a date with him? I mean it could be fun and I'm off today so. 

"Fine, I'll go on a date with you. Only on one condition it cannot be boring because I do not want my time wasted when I can be here watching Netflix and drowning in my own self-pity" 

"Okay?" He laughs lightly. I roll my eyes at him. 

"Well I'm going to sleep, it's around 7 in the morning and that's to early so goodnight. Oh and you can do whatever you want" I walk back to my room and climb into my bed. 

I turn until I can get comfortable and slip into a deep sleep. 

*Gon's POV*

I watch him walk back into his room. Once he goes to his room I get up and walk to the hallway. Three doors are there. 

I open the middle door and it's a sleeping Killua snoring softly. I close the door quietly and go to the one on the left of his door. 

And it's a bathroom. I close the door and go to the last one. It's a small sized closet. Not much of anything in it but jackets on hangers.

I'm bored. 

*Killua's POV*

I turn in my bed, halfway sleep. I feel a weight on my bed as I continue turning due to the new body added on my bed. 

I turn so I can face him. "The hell are you doing?" I nearly growl at him. 

"I'm bored, can we watch a movie?" I look deeply in his eyes to see if he's serious.

"They's DVDs on the tv stand. You can put one in the DVD player" he gets up to put in a movie. I turn to face the wall when the movie starts back up and as he climbs into the bed.

The sound of Gon's laugh is carry around the room as a smile creeps up on my face from hearing it. 

I turn to face him. I look up at the man. He's smiling, eyes focused on the screen as he doesn't even realize that I'm staring at him. 

Great. 

——

The movie ends and he gets up out the bed. I watch him walk out curiously but I don't follow.

I looked at the clock and it was around 9:50 now. I sigh as I climb out of bed. I see him putting his shoes on and coat. 

"Leaving?" I ask as I lean on the wall. 

"Yeah, we're going out for breakfast. I have the whole day planned so get ready. I'll be here around eleven-ish maybe" I have an hour to get ready. 

'Exciting' I think to my sarcastically as I roll my eyes at myself. 

He raises an eyebrow at me but shrugs the questioning look away.

"I'll be here in a little bit, I'll see you"he opens the door and turns

I go to lock the door and go back to my bedroom. I grab an outfit from my wardrobe. 

Which is a dark blue turtleneck and white jeans with grey Vans. I go to the bathroom and start the shower water. I undress myself and get in. 

The hot water beating off my body as I rest my head underneath the shower head. 

Letting the water soak my hair as I begin to clean myself. 

——

I'm out the shower and I start getting dressed.

I slide the the turtleneck over the light blue undershirt as a knock erupts from the door. 

He slips his shoes on and rushes to answer. His eyes trail up from the ground. 

He looks the man at the man in front of him up and down. Wearing black pants and a regular white V-neck that squeezes his biceps. I'm staring to long. 

I clear my throat.

"So I take it that your ready to go?" He ask. I grab my keys, my jacket, and walk out the house. 

Locking the door behind me, I put my jacket on and walk behind him to his car. 

We both climb in the vehicle. Not a single word being spoken. Just a comforting silence. 

The January weather losing its winter weather. The direction he's going to is downtown, is the festival still going or something? 

"So, we're spending the whole day here?" I've only been here once. 

And that was with Blair. 

"No, definitely not. We're just gonna play a few games for maybe an hour or two then the next activity. Just let me know if your hungry" I nod my head as I finds a spot to parking spot. 

We both climb out and walk towards the entrance. We get to the ticket booth and booth pull out our wallets. 

"I'm paying" he says counting money. 

"No I'm paying"

"No your not" 

"Yes I am" 

"Excuse me? But you're holding up the line" the guy that works at the booth says. 

I hand him the money and stick my tongue out at Gon. 

He huffs and grabs the tickets. 

"So where to first Gon~" he intertwined our arms together as we walk together. 

"We're gonna play some games, then we're gonna eat, play some more games, and then we're gonna leave" I nod my head as he leads me to the ball and bucket toss game.

——

We played a lot of games, ate, and now we're in the car to the next event of the night. 

"Where too now?" It was like 3 o'clock.

"Now we're gonna go skating" whaaaa?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this took longer than it should have. I wanted to put the whole date in here. But I didn't want this chapter to hit 2000 words. Nothing wrong with it but yeah. Plus next chapter will be better off with the rest of the date anyways so. 
> 
> This chapter is the "Date part 1" and next chapter will be "Date part 2” anywho hope this chapter was enjoyable. 
> 
> Word Count: 1432  
> Later Loves😌❤️


	8. Chapter 8

Your ways R similar 2 the rays of the sun  
Warm 2 many but 2 strong 4 some  
The more u R needed the brighter u shine  
Watched 4 2 long and your brilliance will blind  
The eyes of of mortal men who threaten u with doom   
They regret 2 c u set but it is time 4 the moon   
-Tupac 

"We're going skating" whaaaa?.

I just sit there. What the fuck. Does he mean like roller-skating or ice-skating. Because I can't do neither. 

I haven't had a normal childhood where I go skating with my friends on a Saturday night. No, I've been studying how to take over a business when I hit 18 years old. 

"Your serious? Like this isn't a joke?" He looked over at me,smiled, and turned back to the rode. 

"I'm serious, we're going ice-skating" 

"But but" 

"No buts. We're doing this. So let me drive yeah?" I cross my arms and sink down into the seat with a pout. 

I don't wanna go skating. I can't even skate. 

Around Ten minutes later we pull into the parking lot of the building. He gets out the car, walks to my door, and opens the door with his hand held out for me. 

I look up at him, the kind and gentle smile he gives me, apart of me wants that smile only to be for me. The softness in his eyes. The way the wind softly moves his hair ever so slightly. 

I take his hand. My heart beating rapidly in my chest as the butterflies in my stomach go haywire. 

My cheeks burn for reason I'm not sure of but his hand in mine felt nice.

We walk to the entrance of the building.The closer we get, the louder the talking is. 

This better be fun. 

——

"No I'm not going again" 

"C'mon Killua you only fell once" I look up at him. 

"Once? My ass is probably red now. 'It'll be fun! It's super easy'" I mock him while taking off my skates. "Oh yeah super easy my red ass!" He sighs and apologizes to bystanders. 

"Did you at least have fun?" 

Did I have fun? Tch

—0O0–

If you call fun falling on your ass and embarrassing yourself in front everybody fun, then yeah I had a blast. 

It was fun at first. I put my skates on and we went out into the rink. He held onto my hand the until we both thought I had the hand of it. 

And I did. Until I lost balance and fell on my butt. I laughed it off and got back up though.

I kept getting back up and falling on my ass. 

I was never good at any of that stuff. 

But if it's a challenge I'm not backing down on it. Unless it causes my butt being abused by attempting to ice-skating that's when I forfeit.

But no, Gon is so consistent that I tried more times than I wanted to. 

—0O0–

"Killua! Try one more time, for me?" He looks at me with these big begging eyes. 

"Damnit Gon! Fine, last time but if I fall again we're leaving" he picks up my skates and hands them to me. 

I put them on again, while sighing deeply.

"Ready?" I can hear the excitement in his voice. I don't want to disappoint him by giving him an attitude. 

"Yeah, I'm ready" he smiles at me. Making me look away. What is this?

He holds out his hand once again for today. I take it as he tightens his grip on mine reassuringly.

Gon leads me to the rink as we both step on the ice. 

My body almost losing balance on the new surface, Gon grabs my waist with one hand and the other hand holding on to mine. 

His hands steadied my body. He smiles, probably because I didn't fall. 

I shook my head at him as I let a smile of my own consume my face. 

——

He held my hand for a while. Every time I felt like I was ok to go on my own I nearly fell.

I got the hang of it sooner or later. It was pretty great if I do say so myself.

Once I got it Gon gave me this big smile that gave me butterflies. 

Not that I didn't have them. The whole time he had his hand on my waist I was blushing and smiling like a idiot. 

The sun was slowly setting as we walked to the car. 

"Where to now?" I asked while looking at him from the of my eye. 

Why is it that when I look at him I can't find myself looking away?

This is definitely different. Good, but different.

"Somewhere I went as a kid" 

"Oh?"I watched him closely, for any signs of where and what he's planning. 

"Your not gonna figure out" damn you. 

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" I cross my arms defensively. 

"Oh nothing, just your not gonna find out what. I mean that'd would just ruin the surprise I have planned" surprise?

"You never said anything about a surprise" 

"That's why it's a surprise, seriously Killua I would never doubt you having any common sens-"

"Shut it, I know. I'm just curious" 

"It'll be a while before we get there" 

I turn over and look out the window. The sun fading over the horizon as less trees come into view. 

Where exactly are we going? 

——  
We pull up to the beach. He goes to the trunk of the car as I get out and watch him. 

He pulls out a basket and two beach towels. 

"Hungry?" We haven't ate all day, well at least I haven't. 

"Yes" he grabs my hand as we walk towards the ocean. 

The sun fully set as the moon and the stars reflect in the ocean. The stars like drops of milk in a dark void known to man as space. 

He lays out the towel as we both set on it. 

The waves gently crash upon shore as we both stare at the scenery in front of us.

The cool salty breeze blows through my hair as the sand is lightly lifted and dropped back down onto land once again. 

I feel him staring at me. So I look over to him and I ask, "what're you looking at Gon?" Softly as a pink blush comes onto his tan cheeks. 

"Nothing, just your beautiful" now it was my turn to blush. 

"You talk to much" I bring my knees up to my chest as I hide my face in my knees so he won't see me flustered. 

"Killua" almost sounds like a whine the way my name was said. 

I corner eye him through my bangs as I watch him closely once again for the day. 

"Stop covering up your face, your beautiful so why hide it?" Because I don't want you to see me all red. 

Instead of saying that though I just shrug my shoulders as I unzip my jacket to take off. 

I watch him as he begins to pull out our dinner in front of us. 

Nothing fancy, just sandwiches. I'm fine with that. We both began eat as he have small talk. 

Laughs here and there. 

Overall this was the best time I've had in a while. I'm actually happy I said yes to this date tonight. Until my curiosity got the best of me. 

"Hey Gon?" He looks at me, I gulp as I continue. "Have you ever been in love before?" He laughs softly. 

"No, have you?" 

"No" once finished he gets up. He holds his hand out with a smile. 

"Come on! Let's go!" Cheerfully he chirps as I give him my hand. 

He takes he takes his shirt off as he kicks his pants and shoes off also. 

"Do you want to swim or not?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not being active on here as much as I am on Wattpad! Again username:Oreoissenpai. The story is up to 12 chapters on Wattpad. 
> 
> And I really do appreciate all the kudos(did I spell that right😅) I’ve been getting, thank you all!. 
> 
> Later Loves😌❤️


	9. Chapter 9

"Grace can be defined as the love and mercy given to us by God because God wants us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it."  
~Website From Google

"Big Brother!! What happened at your date?" She squeezes my wrist as I walk into the kitchen. 

"No, where the parents at?" 

"Out. So what happened?" She won't give up. 

"Nothing happened, we went out and he dropped me off at home" I sit on the counter and watch her walk back and forth. 

"No something happened. Tell me" 

"What makes you think that?" I rub the back of my neck as she walks up to me. 

"You guys had sex" What the hell?!

"Woah, I can't believe you think I'll let him fuck me on the first date. I'm disappointed in you sis" she continues to pace around the room as it helps her think. 

"You kissed!" I look away from her piercing blue eyes as she smiles widely at the guess. 

Yeah, we did kiss.

After he asked if I wanted to swim I told him that I didn't have anything to swim in. 

Like he was already prepared for that answer he smiles and walks to the car. As if he could tell I wouldn't wear—or bring— anything to swim in. 

He pulls out dark blue swim trunks and tosses them to me. 

I raised an eyebrow at him. 'Why would he have these?' I think to myself.

"Are you gonna change?" Yeah with you watching because I want you to see me strip down to no clothes.

"No idiot. Not with you watching" he mumbled an 'ok' and turned around as I changed into the shorts that was bought for me.

I walk up to the shore as the waves crash down in front of me. I walk forward. 

The cold saltwater, brushing against my feet as I step forward. The water getting higher up on me with the more steps I take. 

Gon comes in after me. Startling me as he takes my hand. I look at him to receive a sheepish smile.

"Your so weird Gon" this time the grin is wide. Making the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. 

Why do I get so nervous around him?

Is it the way he looks at me? The answer is still left unanswered like the rest of my self-thought questions.

"Killua you alright?" I nod slowly. 

I'm fine. Just confused. 

"Are you sure?" So worried about other's wellbeing I wonder if he ever forgets to worry about himself. 

"Yeah, I'm sure. Just perfect" I say cupping my hands together, letting the water go in my hands before throwing it up at Gon. 

A childish smirk coming onto my face as I watch him carefully. 

The look of shock and playfulness rushing onto his face as he splashes me back with water. 

It was like that for maybe 15 minutes. 

Us splashing each other with water until it got in my eye. 

It was kinda over after that.

Then we sat on the shoreline and we talked. 

He told me about his time on Whale Island. How he was around nature his whole life. 

It sounds like a great place to grow up. 

So I told him how growing up with my parents was.

How controlling they were and are. How they would stay on my back about school and taking over the family business. 

Never thought to care about my dreams. 

"Killua, you alright? You've gotten quiet suddenly" I look at him. 

Hair wet and swaying with the salty breeze. Eyes glistening in the moonlight as the stars reflect off those big brown orbs. 

"I'm ok" just fine. 

He scoots closer and I follow. 

We're closer than before. I look away. A soft blush coming onto my face. 

"Killua," he says quietly, using his index finger to make me look at him. 

"Gon," I say, matching his volume as he cups my face with his hands. 

Leaning in, eyes closing. 

Lips meet. Hands finding their way into raven brown hair. 

It took a while until one of us pulls away. 

"Big brother!" I jump at her loud voice. 

"Yes?" 

"Did you not hear me talking to you? I asked if I was right, and why are you blushing?" 

"Well no I didn't hear you talking, if I did I would've answered and how am I supposed to know why I'm blushing?" She sighs and walks out of the kitchen with a bowl of cereal. 

"Alluka, at least wait for me to get some too" I make me cereal and walk towards her room. 

Knocking on the door and walking into her eating her breakfast on her bed with the bowl in her lap watching TV. 

I don't say anything when I sit on the floor in front of her bed. Back on the footboard as we sit and eat silently. 

—— 

"Alright, I'm leaving now" Alluka and Kalluto's heads perk up at what was said. 

"Why?" He asks quietly. 

"Well, I'm meeting up with Kurapika and Blair. They want to have a "serious" conversation about something that's super "important" so I gotta go" they don't say anything other than "see you later". 

I walk out of the house and call a cab to the mall where both of them are waiting with bags from expensive name-brand places. 

I feel bad for Kurapika. She forced him to shop with her. 

"Alright what is so important that I had to meet y'all here when it could've been said over the phone?" 

"But that's boring, plus you need a birthday outfit!" Birthday? 

My birthday isn't until July. 

"But that isn't until July. Why get ready for it now?" They both stare at me. 

"Killua it is July," Kurapika says shaking his head. 

"Awl babe" she hugs me tightly. 

"Get off. You are making it seem like it's a big deal" she gasps loudly. 

"It is a big deal! You forgot about your birthday! It's more than a big deal. It's catastrophic!" 

"Oh shut up Blair" she sticks her tongue out at me childishly. 

We walked into the entrance of the mall, Kurapika and Blair having small talk about a party? I don't know, it's something weird. 

"Oh yeah! Killua, how was your date?"

"Date?" Kurapika asks with a raised eyebrow. 

"Blair!" I sigh before continuing. "Yes, date and it went great" 

"Did you have sex?" What the hell is wrong with her and Alluka? 

"No idiot! No we didn't have sex. It was the first date" we walk into a store and me and Kurapika watch Blair pick out clothes. 

"Well, basically the second date. I'd say the dinner party or whatever the hell it was is a date too" 

"No, it wasn't. It wasn't even an official date" 

"Basically it was a date. Plus you danced. And he's your soulmate!"

"You found your soulmate?!" Great now Pika is yelling. 

"yes, Kurapika. I found my soulmate. So what's so important?"they both sigh. 

"Your party. Your turning 24 that's something to celebrate. Especially for you because...well your you" 

"And what they hell is that supposed to mean? You know what forget it. You guys do whatever you want for my party. Wherever it is my parent's house is off limits" I walk away from them and out the mall. 

I forgot my birthday was coming up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to post one more chapter before I continue writing the parts on Wattpad. Again thank you! I’m glad to share my story with others❤️
> 
> Later Loves😌❤️


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ Warning ⚠️   
> Mentions of suicide and abuse are talked about this chapter. If you are sensitive to this topic I would say do not proceed any further but if you want to continue then continue in the next two chapters. 
> 
> Though this is an important part of the storyline and has a large affect on the story.  
>  ⚠️You have been warned⚠️

From my mind 2 the depths of my soul  
I yearn 2 achieve all of my goals  
And all of my time will be well spent  
On the 1's I miss I will lament 

I am not a perfectionist   
But I still seek perfection   
I am not a great romantic   
But yet I yearn 4 affection 

Eternally my mind will produce  
ways 2 put my talents 2 use  
and when I'm done no matter where I've been  
I'll yearn 2 do it again.  
~Tupac

When I left the mall I went home. 

'I kissed Gon. We went on a date. What the fuck' 

Plopping down on my bed I think of everything that happened that day. 

It was overall perfect. I went out of my comfort zone. Did something I would never do—or thought I would never do— I never did anything like this with Kouta. 

My ex. We dated for a while. We both didn't care about the topics of soulmates and we both just... didn't care. 

I haven't thought about him since I met Gon. Realizing just how different they are. Total opposites. 

I never thought I'd meet someone like Gon. I never thought I'd be hurt so much by Kouta either. 

Life is full of surprises. 

It sucks caring for someone so much. Caring about them more than yourself to the point when you'd put your problems down just to make the person smile and laugh once again. 

Letting them do whatever they want out of anger because you want them to let it out and just be happy again.

Loving so hard that when they finally break up with you, you don't know what to do but and isolate yourself and cry. 

I used to have a cheerful attitude and a happy smile I swear it. It's just heartbreaks can change a person.

I never liked the thoughts of soulmates though I lived as if there was no such thing. 

I thought Kouta was mine. 

Until everyone made me realize the truth. It was hard to believe it so I lied to myself. 

Why would he cheat on me? He loves me. He would do no such thing. He loves me. When he's angry he doesn't mean to hurt my feelings and bruise my body. He loves me. 

Until I got it through my head that, what was happening wasn't the kind good kind of love. 

It was the twisted, selfish, abusive, type of love. I was dumb enough to believe it was true. 

I was dumb enough to think he loved me. But now I don't need his love. 

I don't have to worry about my heart getting broken again. 

I know it's too soon to use the word love and I know that I only know that type of love I grew up with and learned from others but what I feel now is something I can't even explain. 

Since the party, it was something for me. I know what that the love that was shown in my last won't be shown in my next relationship. 

Things will be different I promise myself that.

*Knock On Door*

I get up and walk to the front door. Opening it to a shocked Gon. 

"What are you staring at?" I ask, waving my hand in front of his face.

"Are you ok? Your crying" I put a shaking hand on my face, I am crying. 

Gon pushes me into the house. Before I could realize what happened we were in my room. 

He sits me down on my bed. Walking out then coming back in with tissues and hands them to me. 

"What's wrong?" I don't know what's wrong.

I shrug slowly, wiping my eyes and face. 

His eyes are full of concern and worry. 

"Killua what's wrong," he asks sounding more serious than before. 

Kinda startling me. 

"Nothing is wrong. My eyes were... sweating?" He doesn't look convinced. 

I groan loudly. Why did he even come here? 

"Why are you here anyways?" At that, he blushes. 

Sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck and looking away. Honestly, the sight was cute. 

"I just wanted to see you" now I'm blushing. 

I take a deep breath, eyes closed. 

"I know how you feel," I say quietly. Hoping he didn't hear me say that. 

But since my terrible luck is still in my life he heard it. And once he did he looked up at me smiling like a fool. 

I couldn't help but smile back at him. It's contagious. Then his smile falls. 

"What's the real reason why you were crying?" 

"Honestly Gon, I don't know. I guess thinking about the past brings out emotions you thought was gone" I look at him. 

His expression is unexplainable. 

The look in his eyes are different than usual. My eyes go down until I'm looking at his lips. 

'I want to kiss him again' I gulp silently and look back up to him. 

His expression softening when he looks at me again too. 'Breath you fool!' 

It's his fault. It's his fault why I want to make out with his stupid face! 

"It's your fault" 

"That you're crying?" He looks so shocked it made me giggle a little. 

"No idiot" 

"Then what's my fault?" 

"It's your fault why I want to kiss you!-" oh my god I said that out loud. 

I look at Gon and for the first time, his blank expression scared me. 

"I didn't mean to say that out loud it was on accident!-" my words coming out rushed before his lips are on mine once again. 

My eyes shooting open until I fell into the kiss.

Hands curling into the hem of his shirt as his hands go onto my waist. 

"Mmm" I moan into the kiss as he slips his tongue in my mouth.

And then he breaks the kiss. I look up at him. His eyes looking back into mine. 

Yeah, things will definitely be different.

"Are you ok?" He ask softly. I nod my head. "I'll ask again, why were you crying" do I tell him everything? 

Do I tell him how messed I used to be? How I let Kouta do whatever he wanted to me. How deep down I knew he didn't love me but I couldn't think of losing him. 

How helpless I was. So desperate to keep him with me as it was pathetic. 

I guess I do tell him. 

I'll tell him everything he wants to know from now on. 

I'll tell him how I meet Kouta and when I first saw a change from him. I'll tell him how he used to bruise my body and not my face because in his words beautiful. 

I'll tell him how he used to saw nobody would love me and only he would. 

How I'm worthless and he could do better. 

I'll tell him when I thought of death and when I had to go to the hospital from bleeding out. 

I'll tell him everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is in Gon’s POV and Still mentions of suicide and abuse. But it’s like angst with a happy ending so yay?😂I don’t even know anymore at this point.
> 
> Later Loves😌❤️


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ Warning ⚠️  
> Mentions of suicide and abuse are talked about this chapter. If you are sensitive to this topic I would say do not proceed any further but if you want to continue then continue in the next two chapters. 
> 
> Though this is an important part of the storyline and has a large affect on the story.  
> ⚠️You have been warned⚠️

Pretty smiles  
Deceiving laughs  
And people who dream with their Eyes open  
Lonely children  
Unanswered cries  
And souls who have given up hoping  
The other thing that breaks hearts  
R fairy tales that never come true  
And selfish people who lie 2 me  
Selfish people just like u   
~Tupac

*Gon's POV

"It got to the point where I felt suicidal, and he even told me to kill myself. That no one would care if I died. And I believed him. But I was too much of a coward to kill myself so I cut places, where no one would see" he lifted up his shorts to his upper thigh. 

Lines of scars were present on his milky skin. Then he lifts up his shirt. 

Scars on his abdomen.

He looked away from me. Ashamed? Afraid?

"It had gotten to the point when I would nearly bleed out on my bathroom floor. My sister would walk in and call for my father. Every time I locked my door Alluka would still find a way in. The hospital suggested I get therapy. They didn't know what Kouta was doing. I never told them. I was seventeen-years-old at the time" 

I wanted to hug him. I wanted to hug him and tell him that I was different. 

Little tears were trapped in those big blue eyes. 

I wish he would let it out. I wish I could hold him. But due to personal boundaries, I won't. 

I just listened to him speak. He said Kouta would break up with him knowing that he would go back to him.

"When I told my grandfather he told my dad. He was furious. He trusted Kouta and he beat me, used me, cheated on me, was the cause of all my suicide attempts. Then he made me break up with him and made me swear that I wouldn't go back to him. Which I did... for the most part. I couldn't just leave him. I was stuck on him. It pains me to say that I stopped loving him when I was twenty. I broke up with him at nineteen"

"He just wouldn't leave" he clenches his fist as tears began to fall. With a shaky breath, he continues. 

"He'd show up when I was at University and work. Eventually, I just stopped going to both. My school sent a letter. Explaining that if I don't go to school in the next month then they'll open a new spot for someone else. I started going back, and so did he. Then I got fired. I couldn't pay for Uni anymore so they gave up my spot" 

He wipes his eyes and looks up at me. 

His eyes are glossy and puffy.

"My parents got a restraining order on him and I haven't seen him ever since" his breathing calmed as he finished talking. 

"Can I hug you?" He blushes a little but nods his head yes. 

I scoot over to him wrapping my arms around him. 

"You know before he did anything to me, my sister told me to leave him, that I should try to find my soulmate, and that I can do better. I called her stupid. I was the stupid one" he chuckles lightly in my neck. 

I don't know what to say to this. I can't think of any words for comfort. 

He just sniffles quietly and cries once again. 

"It's ok, he's not here anymore," I say softly. 

"Think about it this way" he looks up at me innocently. "If you didn't go through all that stuff then we probably wouldn't have met" he nods and wipes his eyes. 

"Alright. I'm hungry" he looked around eyes still puffy. "You came here with no food?".....

"I can order a pizza?" 

"Yeah that'd be great," he says walking out and into the bathroom.

I take my phone out to call the pizza place, then I hear the shower water running? 

I knock on the bathroom door. 

"I'm tryna bathe like a normal person. I'll be done by time the food is here" he says over shower water. 

"Don't complain when it's cold" I mumble walking back to his room. 

'Thanks Kouta, thank you for being crazy and giving me to chance to show him that other men are different' I think to myself ordering the pizza.

I can already tell he's the type to push his feelings away. Just by this situation. He was just crying and now he's back to normal.   
——

Around five to ten minutes later Killua was coming out the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his small body.

Honestly, the way water descends down into the towel that was pretty uh- how do I say it with out sounding like a creep?

I couldn't help but stare. How could someone with his attitude look so adorable and cute? 

"What? Your staring is making me highly uncomfortable" he crosses his arms. 

Coming out of my trance I look up at his face. A light pink blush on his face. 

"Excuse my staring, I just couldn't help myself" he shakes his head smiling widely. 

"God your corny as hell. I would say I feel bad for who you end up with but... well" 

"Awl does this mean you've been thinking about us being together?" His face brightens red and I can't help but to laugh. 

"I mean I have considered the   
thought—"

"The thought?"

"—of us being together and what not"

"So you've been thinking bout me?"I ask smirking at him as his face turns dark and he walks out quickly. 

Coming back in and saying "get out, I'm still in a towel" and I respond with "fine, I'll wait for the food" couldn't come up with anything mushy or anything so I left like asked. 

Just thinking about everything he's told me today is scary to imagine. Being abused by the one you loved.

I couldn’t think of that happening to Aunt Mito. I can’t believe it happened to Killua. 

He just seems so—I don’t know. To think of him being so vulnerable and letting someone put their hands on him is unimaginable.

“Is that the door Gon?” Shit when was someone knocking?

I walk to the door and open it. Guess it was someone at the door. 

“Pizza for Freecss?”she says in a high pitched tone. Making me cringe. 

I nod as the blonde hands me the box and hand her the money. 

“Have a goodnight sir” I nod to her as she jogs to her car. 

Closing the door and seeing Killua leaning on the corner with a smirk. 

“Pizza for Freecss” he mocks with a laugh. “Oh my god she’s definitely your type huh?” 

“Now I just feel offended. Plus I have only one type” he rose one eyebrow “you” his face scrunches up into a look of disgust. 

“Please shut up. Just shut your corny ass up before I kick you out” I raise both hands in defense and laugh. 

“Alright alright, where’s your plates at?”

——

We ate our food and watched movies. Eventually it got dark out and late. 

I was gonna live but he didn’t want me driving to late and the only option was for me to stay. 

We laid in his bed facing each other.

“Killua, other than wanting to dance what else is your dream?” 

“You’ll see my dream in the future I’m sure of it. Goodnight Gon”

“Goodnight Killua” that’s not all I wanted to ask, but he looked tired. 

I’ll ask in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was this chapter? Also sorry for the angst! Really I apologize. And who has an idea for what Gon wants to ask Killua?
> 
> Later Loves😌❤️


	12. Chapter 12

They could never understand  
what u set out 2 do  
instead they chose 2  
ridicule u

when u got weak  
they loved the sight  
of your dimming  
and flickering starlight

How could they understand what was so intricate

2 be loved by so many, so intimate  
they wanted 2 c your lifeless corpse  
this way u could not alter the course  
of ignorance that they have set  
2 make my people forget  
~Tupac

*Killua's POV

I turn over, the sun shining through the open window. 

If you ask me it's to damn early in the morning. Plus I have work today. 

This is gonna be great. 

But now that I think about it, work shouldn't be that bad I mean like it's usually ok when I come back from the two days I have off.

"Good morning Killua" Gon says startling me and making me fall out of my bed with a thud and a groan. 

I look up at him. His head hanging off the bed and eyes wide. 

"Sheesh, falling for me already?"

"Fuck you Gon, fuck you and your corny as jokes" 

"Awll that's not nice to say to your future boyfriend" he pouts. 

"Well it's not nice to—fuck did you just say? It's too early to be dealing with your bullshit" he laughs loudly. 

"Your no fun at all"

"Well you try falling out of your bed" 

"Rather not" 

He moves over, holds a hand out, and helps me back onto my bed. 

With us both sitting up against the backboard he turns over to me. He looks at me, damnit. He looks at me with this stupid smile.

I grab my pillow and with some of my strength I smack him off the bed. 

"Owww!" I crawl to the side of the bed that he fell off of and mock his words:  
"Falling for me already?" Now it's my turn to laugh at the dork. 

"That was mean" he says sticking his tongue out at me. 

"Thanks—" I cant even finish my sentence before I'm getting pulled onto the floor by him. 

"You annoy me" 

"Don't you have work today?" 

"Yeah thanks for reminding me about that hell hole" he only hums and it takes me a minute to realize the position we're in. 

With me on top of him,straddling his hips, and our faces mere inches away. I feel my face heat up at the closeness. 

It's not like we haven't been closer. I didn't really think about our closeness when we kissed. It just happened. 

I mean I don't regret anything just I don't know. 

"You ok up there? Your a little quiet" I nod and sit up. 

His eyes are concerned and focused on me. 

"I gotta get ready to leave soon" I get up, leaving him on the floor. 

I grab the stupid work uniform from my closet and go into the bathroom to change. I look into the mirror, gripping the sink, and I think to myself: 'God what the hell was I thinking yesterday? What if I mess up? What if we get into a relationship and I fuck it all up?

Deep breaths. In and out. In. Out. I'm a fuck up but not that bad of one'

"Killua" He says through the bathroom door. 

I open the door to Gon. He looks nervous. Like a 'I'm gonna shit myself' nervous. 

"I was meaning to ask you this last night but you went to sleep. I would've asked later on today but I don't wanna wait to long and not do it so I'm going to ask now" is he? Oh shit he is. 

A light blush on his tan cheeks, one hand rubbing the back of his neck, and a little smile on his face tells it all. 

"Will you—" I don't let him finish as I cup his face and smash are lips together. 

'Kinda rude to not let him finish his sentence. But worth it' 

I could feel him smiling against my lips as his arms wrapped around my waist. 

I pull away first, hands now in his usual spiky hair. 

"So I'll take that as a yes" he chuckles at his little comment. Only rolling my eyes at him with a smile of my own now present face. 

"Yes idiot" 

Well now I really have to introduce him to the family.

——

"Killua!" Blair practically screeches as me and Gon walk through the doors of the club. 

"Is she always this loud?" He whispers to me while walking up to the bar. 

"Yes she's always this loud but shes great" 

"Hey babe! How was your weekend— whos this? Is it?!" She covers her mouth and begins jumping around the bar. 

"Omg! You weren't lying!" She thought I was lying. 

"Well now I'm just fucking offended, why the hell would I lie? I have nothing to lie about" I cross my arms as she quickly apologizes. 

"I'm Blair but you probably already no that" she says, sticking out a hand to him. 

"Gon Freecss and no I did not know that. But nice to meet you" he says shaking her hand.

"He is hot Killua, does he have a brother—" she whispers quietly but I'm sure he heard her. 

"Blair shut the hell up!"I nearly scream at her. I turn to Gon after that.

"I'm sorry for that, her brain doesn't function like everyone elses" he only laughs in response before checking his watch. 

"You two are something else, anyways it was nice meeting you Blair, I gotta go to work so I'll see you later?" 

"Yeah you'll see me" he pulls me in for another kiss. 

This kiss is definitely different from first ones. 

I can't explain how. But what I can say is it's intoxicating.

He pulls away, our foreheads pressed together, and a dopey smile present on both of our faces. 

"You should leave before your late"

"Eh, they could wait a little"

"Idiot—"

"Ahem, Mr. Zoldyck are you finished?" My boss, Jackson says with an annoyed expression.

"No Bossman I'm not finished" I could hear giggling in the back ground, I can tell it's Blair.

"Killua" Gon says bringing the attention back to him. 

"Yes?" He gives me this look a parent would give their child that just back talked someone.

"Fine, I'll go change" I say to my boss. 

I go to grab my bag of clothes only to be grabbed back by Gon. 

"I'll see you tonight" I nod. 

He says his goodbyes and he leaves. 

I go to the back room, Blair following behind like a lost puppy, and she just had to ask this stupid question. 

"So I take it you guys had sex already?" 

"No!" 

I began to change as she turn around. 

"Did you tell him about Kou-"

"Yes I told him yesterday" 

"Did you tell him everything?" 

"Yes I told him everything" I turn around to her fully dressed. 

"So you trust him? You trust that he won't hurt you?" 

"I trust him" 

"What if you fall for someone else?" 

"I won't"

"How do you know that?"

"Because he is what I want, he's who I fell for, he's what makes me happy so that's how I know" she rushes to me and hugs me.

"Awll! I'm happy for you babe- guess I can't call you 'babe' anymore huh?"

"Guess not"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos! I appreciate it very much and I’m glad that you’re enjoying this story so far! I will be more active on here like I am on Wattpad! 
> 
> So again thank you so much<3


	13. Chapter 13

From first glance I know exactly what would be  
U and I have perfect hearts destined one day 2 be  
The circumstances don't even matter because my heart never lies  
And if u don't admit 2 this it is u who will be surprised  
~Tupac

It's funny when I first woke up I didn't think that I'd be in a relationship. 

I didn't expect it to happen honestly, not so soon. But I don't regret it either. 

It was funny seeing the look on Blair's face when she found out about me and Gon this morning. 

She says that it's crazy that I told Gon about Kouta. But he deserves to know being my 'soulmate' and all. 

"Killua! You have another table!" 'I cannot wait until I quit working in this dump.'

I sigh deeply, grabbing my notepad, and walk over to the table full of men. 

"We'd all like The Old Fashioned," the man says with a smug grin on his face and I knew it was going to be one of those nights again. 

The nights I dread most.

I hurry and walk to the bar. Passing women that are leading men to the back room for a private dance.

I hand Blair the note with their order on it. Watching as she made their drinks. 

"You okay?" She asks not even looking up as she measures the amounts of each ingredient in of the men's drinks. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm ready to go though" she nods in agreement while she added a twist of citrus rind. 

Placing the cups on the tray and sliding it in front of me. 

"Well didn't your boyfriend say he was gonna see you tonight?" Blair smirks, sipping the drink she made herself. 

"Yeah, so what?" She rolls her hazel eyes at me before continuing, "that means you have something to look into when you get off!" 

"Yeah yeah"

I take the tray with the drinks on it and walk over to the table. 

"Here you all go, is there anything else I can bring you?" I give the table my best fake smile as usual when I'm working.

"I'd like for you to bring me your number" as said before, tonight is going to be one of those nights that anyone who works in this hellhole dreads most. 

"I'd rather not, give out my number to strangers or someone twice my age" I walk away from the table, ignoring being called by the old fool. 

"Killua!"Jackson's voice booms over the music. I stop in my tracks, sighing, then turning around to face the jerk. 

"Yes, Jackson?" Asking while crossing my arms. 

"That little stunt you pulled earlier, I want to talk to you about that in my office" I try not to let my facial expression take over my whole face.   
I groan loudly. Following him into his overly large office. 

His wife sitting on the desk giggling at something on her phone.

I sit down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. 

"What is it, Jackson? I do have a job you know? And that job requires me taking orders"

"Yes I know that, but what you did today was unacceptable there is no PDA in the workplace" The. Fuck.

"'Workplace'? This is a whore house!" I stop myself from saying any more.   
From saying how I really feel about this damn job. 

His face is unreadable, I can tell he's unsure of what to say. Damnit.   
'Inhale, exhale, prepare to be fired'

—— 

"So how was work?" he asks, hands resting firmly on the steering wheel. 

"Shitty" 

I cross my arms, looking out the car window. 

"What's wrong?" 

"I might get fired is all" shrugging

He stopped the car, after pulling over to the side of the road. 

Shifting in his seat to face me fully. 

"If you get fired how are you going to pay for college?" 

"I-I don't know Gon. I just know that I'm probably not gonna go. Jackson looked pretty pissed when I was leaving out" I put a hand over my face before continuing, "god I'm so stupid. I should've just shut up and let him talk shit" he grabs my hand, looking at me with eyes filled with so many emotions. 

This look is unexplainable, is it selfish to want this look for me and me only? 

"It'll be alright, you talking back is how you are. It's kinda rude but it's who you are. You can't be upset with yourself for it" 

"I guess" 

"Anyways, I have somewhere I want to take you. It's important to me and I want to share it with you" he says,  
starting up the car and pulling off again. 

"You want to share it with me? But why?" 

"Because you're important to me too!" He laughs wholeheartedly, a smile going up to his eyes.

"Idiot" I mumble before continuing "so where are you taking me? Yeah, it's an important place but you never said where" I say, staring out the window while doing so. 

"It's a secret!" I sigh deeply.

"Just tell me" 

With a playful smirk on his face, he says: "guess" where the hell am I supposed to guess.

"The park?" 

"Nope!"

"Uh, somewhere to eat?"

"Nope"

"I don't know! It's late, no places are open at the moment. Just tell me" he chuckles at that then sighing afterward. 

The atmosphere was comfortable. Then he spoke back up, the at

"It's a surprise kay? That all. You'll see how important this place is to me when we arrive"

After that the car ride was silent. 

The only noise was from the city, annoying yet somewhat relaxing. 

Making me sleepier than before. I close my eyes, leaning back into the seat with my head against the window.

——

"Wake up love, we're here," he says gently, softly nudging my shoulder. 

"How long was I out?" I ask stretching to wake myself all the up from the nap. 

"Not long maybe an hour" I nod my head at him. Opening the car door and stepping out onto the concrete. 

"Where the hell are we?" The front of the woods look scarier at night time. 

"Well, we're not exactly there yet" yet? 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, where we're going is kinda in the woods" he looks at me sheepishly, causing my eye twitches with irritation when he finishes his sentence.

"Alright. Let's go, you said it's important and I don't want to bitch about it so lead the way" Gon smiles widely and holds out his hand for me to take. 

Which I take rather quickly. A light blush spreading across my cheeks as we began walking down the trail. 

His phone flashlight on to light the way.

"Not to sound like a child but how far is it?" 

"Not too far"

"Okay" 

The conversation came to an end. The deeper we walked into the woods the more I came curious to where we're actually going. 

What place in the woods is so important? Not like I'm not a fan of nature or anything, it's the opposite really. 

But when I'm being dragged through the woods at like 10:00 at night then yeah I'm going to question. 

"Okay close your eyes" 

"But why?" 

"Just close your eyes" he says more demanding than before. I listen though and let him continue dragging me blindly through the woods. 

The temptation to peak was strong.

"Take this" he says leaving me to reach out in front of me as he places... a stick in my hand?

"Why am I holding stick?" Gon just laughs it off as he takes my other hand and helps me sit down on the grass.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes" 

"Open them" once he says that my eyes slowly open.

*3rd person*

Killua focused on the setting before him. Trying to figure out what was so special about this tree that he was brought too. 

Then he saw it. Lights? No fireflies began to swarm the tree. Killua's eyes lit up in a amazement. 

He smiled wide at the scenery, looking over at Gon who had a soft smile on his face. 

Killua's expression was one a child would make and it made his lovers heart squeeze with happiness. 

Seeing him smile like that wasn't something anyone that knew the Zoldyck would see and Gon was happy he got to look at it. 

"Hold the branch out and stay still" the words were spoken gently as sliver-haired male did as told. 

As the fireflies flew over to the branch that was being held. 

"Why are they around the tree and the branch like that?" Killua asked with curiosity. 

"Their sea fireflies, they like to be by brackish water, and it's mating season"

"This is amazing Gon, how did you find this place?" 

"When I first moved here from Whale Island, I went to the woods to explore a bit. I found the trail that lead to here. Whenever I'm here I feel calmer, better about what happened to me earlier you know? And not everyone can go somewhere to wind down and what you said to me in the car, I knew I had to take you here" He finished speaking as he raised a finger and let the firefly stand on it. 

Killua looked at him and gave him a small smile. 

"Well thank you for sharing this with me, I'm glad I got to see it" Killua says, laying the stick down, and crashes his lips onto the raven-haired male. 

'This is how it's meant to be' Killua thought as he pulled away and rested his head on the others shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also! This story is now all caught up with the Wattpad version so ya! 
> 
> Also again thank you very much! Next chapter will be Killua’s birthday party!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kissing you  
> is like kissing the sun  
> Oh my god ow i'm burning  
> I love  
> the wet round shape   
> of your eyes  
> wait shit that sounds creepy  
> My heart yearns  
> for your heart  
> it hurts   
> real bad  
> i think i'm having a heart attack   
> fuck I'm dead  
> ~rebloggy  
> (as the author of this story I apologize for adding this in the chapter)

A few days later, my birthday came I hate to say it, but I was hoping that nobody remembered; I was so wrong. Blair wouldn't shut up about it, neither would Alluka and Kalluto. They're so damn persistent. Due to my birthday being on the weekend, I didn't have to go to work. I didn't even think Gon knew about my birthday. I mean, I haven't told him, but I'm sure he has talked to Alluka a lot lately, I wonder what that's about. "Happy birthday big brother!" Alluka and Kalluto said, holding a birthday cake saying 'Happy Birthday 24th Killua'. I can't help but smile at the two. "Thanks guys, it means a lot" Alluka drags me to the dining room where the rest of my siblings and my parents wait. "Happy birthday dear" Mom says, walking up to me, smiling. Everyone sung 'happy birthday' to me as Canary lights the candles. "Make a wish Master Killua" I nod my head to my childhood friend and butler. I close my eyes, make the wish, and blow. Opening my eyes slowly, I look at my family. A feeling of excitement overcomes me as I remember that Blair has been planning for my birthday. I wonder what she wants to do... —— "Killuaaaa! You're gonna love what I have planned for you! It's gonna be so fun" Blair says, jumping up and down with her hands on my shoulders. "Why are you so happy? It's not even your birthday?" She grabs my hand and begins to pull me before saying: "Because it's your special day! Why wouldn't I be happy about that?" "Your weird"I say with a sigh. "Awl, thanks babe!" I just smile at the overly-excited girl. "Anyways, come on! We have so much to do and such a small amount of time!" She begins to drag me by my hand. She pulled me to our destination, which is the mall, sadly. What do we even need here? "Why are we at the mall? Don't tell me we're going on another one of your shopping sprees!" I exclaimed, annoyed. She always drags me shopping with her. It became annoying very quickly. "Well if you must know, I'm getting you a birthday outfit. Your gonna need it for where we're going!" Ughhhhh "And where exactly are we going?" "Clubbing of course!" "We work at a club" "As the servers" "Your point?"I ask, letting go of her hand once stepping inside the mall. "Wouldn't it be nice to be one being served?" I guess she has a point there. "Fine. I hate to admit it but, you're right. It would be nice. But wait, are we going to a strip club or a regular night club?" She giggles lightly before speaking. "The best for my babe! So of course a night club, I know you hate strip clubs, and the club is new! Only rich people and celebrities come here. It's called The Luxe. It's owned by this young rich dude" yayy more snoopy rich people. "Alright. Well let's get this over with"I say as she drags me to clothing stores. —— Eventually, we finished shopping and I had her take me back to my parents house, where I could get ready. I send a quick text to Gon and Kurapika with the location of the club and stripped out of my clothes to take a shower. After taking my shower, I wrap my towel around my waist, and look through the fresh bag of clothes that was bought today. Grabbing out the white polo shirt and dark blue jeans, I put both on before sliding on some white and black adidas and my black bomber jacket. I call Blair to tell her I'm ready and that she can come and pick me so we can go to the club. I wait for her to text me back as I take a deep breath before exiting out of my room and down the steps. I walk out the main door and sit down on the front porch waiting for my ride. This was going to be a very long night. —— When we arrived the to "The Luxe" Gon and Kurapika were waiting outside the the building, talking to the bodyguard. "Kurapika!" Blair nearly shouted to get the blondes attention. But he didn't seem to mind as he and Gon walked over to the both of us with big smiles. "Happy birthday Killua" Kurapika says, giving me a tight hug. I laugh into the hug as we pull. I turn to Gon to see him standing like a idiot with his arms wide open and a lopsided smile. I go in for the hug as he wraps his arms around me. Whispering 'happy birthday' in my ear before pulling away. "Thank you guys" they both nod and Blair begins to drag us to the front doors of the club. We get in with ease and we go to the bar first. All ordering a few drinks to loosen us up a little, we soon move to dance floor. — By now I was a little over of tipsy, my steps became more sloppy than I remembered. My words becoming more slurred as my eye-sight became a little blurry. I look down into my glass. It was fizzing. How didn't I notice before? It sounds funny. Why- why is it getting harder to stay awake? Where's Gon? My words get stuck in my throat as hands sneak around my waist. Rough hands I hadn't felt in years began to pull me away. My eyelids grow heavy as I feel my body grow limp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I am sooooo sorry for not being active on here, honestly so much stuff has been happening and I just got caught up. I posted this chapter and another one(which will be getting updated shortly) on Wattpad and just didn’t think to post on here. So I apologize! I hope you can forgive me.
> 
> Also, this chapter is 1274 words, and was posted : November second twenty-twenty!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is filled with anger  
> fueled with hidden hate  
> scared of being outcast  
> afraid of common fate
> 
> Today is built on tragedies  
> which no one wants 2 face  
> nightmares 2 humanities  
> and morally disgraced
> 
> Tonight is filled with rage  
> violence in the air  
> children bred with ruthlessness  
> because no one at home cares
> 
> Tonight I lay my head down  
> but the pressure never stops  
> knawing at my sanity  
> content when I am dropped
> 
> But 2morrow I c change  
> a chance 2 build a new  
> Built on spirit intent of Heart  
> and ideals  
> based on truth
> 
> and tomorrow I wake with second wind  
> and strong because of pride  
> 2 know I fought with all my heart 2 keep my  
> dream alive  
> ~Tupac

??? POV  
^kinda obvi who though;-;

ALSO! Trigger warning, mentions of drug use, kidnapping, abuse, and something else but I forget what it's called! 

You've been warned.

'It's his birthday today. I wonder what he's doing'

'Does he miss me?'

'I wonder how he's doing' 

'I can't wait to surprise him on his special day!'

'Oh to see the look on his beautiful face'

'I just want to hold him'

'I want my soulmate back'

'My one true love' 

'I let you go once, I won't do that again doll'

"Uh Mr. Nakamura?" 

"Yes Dave"

"It's time" 

'I knew you couldn't stay away from me forever Killua. You just keep running back' 

"Tell the bartender to slip this in his drink" The dark haired male said to his assistant. Handing him the bag of drugs. 

Dave takes the bag hesitantly. Nervous around his boss, as usual. 

"On it sir" with that Dave exits the dim room. 

The mans looks out the window. His eyes scan the crowd of people, stopping once seeing a head of silver hair. 

Watching as silver haired male moved his slightly drunken body to the beat of the music. 

'You always did know how to put on a show for me' his body erupted with laughter. 

Why exactly? Because he was planning on making 'his doll' do more of these 'shows' for him. 

I mean everything he's done was for him. 

It hurts how the man downstairs dancing, is living like nothing else matters. 

Like everything that was done for him meant nothing! 

Maybe he's jealous. Okay he's definitely jealous. How dare he show up to his club with another man. 

Well he'll learn his lesson. Sooner or later at least. 

He watched as Killua sipped the drugged drink. 

He began to move down the steps at a high speed. 

He needs to be here for when he passes out. It was the perfect timing too. 

Seeing as everyone that was with the silver haired beauty is now gone. 

He took the chance and slipped his rough hands on the shorter's waist. 

He smirked to himself, seeing as the youngest body movement changed and soon after went limp. 

'Don't worry doll, I'll get you outta here'

——

Killua's POV

He opened his eyes, he was expecting to wake up in his room. Though what he seen was far from what he expected.

He wasn't expecting to be in his ex's bed with some skimpy outfit on. 

He was wearing a dark red netted top that connected to the bottoms. The bottoms hugged his member to tight and the back was a thong. 

Basically something he'd see one of the strippers at his job would wear. 

His first thought being 'where the hell am I?' And 'how drunk was I to end up in this bullshit?'

He grabbed the blanket and wrapped it over his small frame and opened the bedroom door. 

Checking if anyone was outside the room he quickly, but quietly, exited out the room. 

Hold his hand over his mouth so he wasn't breathing too loudly. It felt like he was anyways.

The way his heart pounded in his ears. He had to hold his first two fingers and press them against his neck to make sure his breathing was under control. 

"Going anywhere?" The deep voice he feared rang through the hall he was standing in. 

How didn't he feel his presence?! 

"Why the hell am I here?!" He questioned with a growl. 

"I see your feeling pretty ballsy. Well if you must know, I missed you" Kouta said with a "innocent" smile. 

Though Killua knew what was coming next. Having went through something similar like this before with the older. 

It was either shouting or persuasion.

"Fuck you" 

"That's pretty rude to say to your boyfriend Killua" who the hell does he think he is? 

"I have a boyfriend and he's not you" Kouta began to walk towards him. 

"You better watch who the hell your talking to doll" he was now mere steps away from Killua. 

'Play smart. Pretend to still love him' he nodded his head, as a way of agreeing with his thoughts. 

"I'm sorry Kouta, please forgive me" he said bringing his hand to Kouta's face. 

This idea could either save him or blow up in his face. He was willing to take the sacrifice. 

"I forgive you baby" the way the word rolled of his tongue made Killua want to hurt him. 

But seeing as he was noticeably weaker than the other he didn't stand a chance. 

So he just pushed the feeling of disgust down along with is self-pity.

"Dance for me" Kouta demanded. 

He slowly pulled the cover that Killua was sheltering his body with. 

"No!-"

"No?" 

"I- I mean not here! We're in the middle of the hallway! There's no music and you don't even look comfortable" Killua stumbled over his words. 

"You are right. Fine then. Let's go back to my bedroom. Excuse me, our bedroom" Killua only laughed nervously. 

Kouta pulled Killua with him to "their" bedroom. He sat on the bed and whipped out his phone. 

Playing some song Killua didn't know of. The blanket that kept his body hidden was now on the ground. 

Killua was now exposed to the one he feared most. 

"Now, dance for me" 

"I-I don't know, I'm pretty t-tired" his sentence was cut short with a tight grip on his arm. 

Turning his pale skin red quickly. 

"I said dance for me. If I have to repeat myself I will hurt you. If I think your holding out on me, again, I will hurt you. And we don't want that now do we doll?" Killua only shook his head. 

He began to move his hips skillfully. By his body language you would think he's into it. 

But the look he held in his eyes was one of fear, disgust, hatred, and regret. 

'I have to get out of here. I can't be here any longer or I'll puk-' his thoughts were cut short to a smack in the face. 

He let out a yelp in pain. He looked down at Kouta as small tears threatened to fall. 

It hurt. Bad. He didn't hold back with the smack. As if his hand was cocked back to its furthest. 

"You know I hate hurting you-"

"Then fucking don't!"

Another slap. 

"But! I will if I have too. Now your gonna keep your pretty little mouth shut and dance like you used too. Just how I like it" 

He wanted to cry. To run. To scream. To fight. To call for help. But hell his body felt as if it were made of stone. 

His words caught in his throat. 

"Sit on my lap" and so he didn't. Gasping when he felt the hard member underneath him. 

His heart was beating out of his chest. Curses were being shouted throughout his head.

His first instinct being to punch him and run but again, he couldn't move. 

Fuck.

Kouta began to laugh. But his laughing slowly turned to sobs. 

What the hell is up with this prick? 

And why the hell is his sorry ass crying?

"I- are you okay?" Killua asked. Though he felt like he shouldn't have. 

"I just missed you so much!" 

'Doesn't fucking seem like it you good for nothing asshole' 

"Oh well I'm here now?" In his mind it sounded like a question. 

Mostly because he was unsure if that was helpful. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you! Forgive me" 

'Fuck you, you dick' 

"Uh sure?"

Kouta quickly hugged Killua. 

Crying slowly turned into snores. That confused Killua. 

First he was upset, then horny, then angry, now sad? What the actual fuck. 

'I gotta get outta this shithole' 

So he lied Kouta on the bed and placed the blanket on him. 

Quicker than before he ran around the house looking for something to put on. Stopping once seeing his clothes ripped up. 

So he grabbed a random jacket and put it one. Forgetting shoes. He ran to the front door. 

Once he got to the door he was stopped by a rough hand on his shoulder and a deep voice. 

"To think I thought you cared for me still, this won't do Killua. Back upstairs. Now"

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter and the little poem in the beginning. 
> 
> Also more of the story is on my Wattpad account @oreoissenpai same title and more of my stories are on there too! Go check them out if you want to and I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the enjoy the rest of the story


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